It comes only once a year (thank goodness!). Homes, storefronts and people are decked to the nines. Brightly lit and ornamented trees appear out of nowhere! What is this madness, you ask? It's Christmastime!
I love Christmas. It's my favorite time of year, but I'm glad it only comes once a year! There are gifts to buy, cookies to bake, parties to attend. How does one keep their sanity at this often insanely hectic time of year? Here are a few helpful hints:
Prioritize. Do what you and your family love. There is no law that says you have to attend every party, buy a gift for everyone, or decorate every corner of your house. Decorate the tree with the ornaments that mean the most to you. Bake only your very favorite cookies.
Set limits. Make a gift budget. Make a list of who you will buy gifts for and Put a "cap" on the amount you will spend on each gift. Decide this ahead of time. Knowing that our daughter will receive gifts from grandparents, aunts, and uncles on both sides of the family, we give her only three; an outfit of clothes, something fun, and something educational. If you have a large family, drawing names is helpful...and fun!
Be creative. Enjoy some old traditions, but incorporate some new ones, too! Have a movie marathon where you show your favorite Christmas movies. Invite family and friends. Have them each bring a snack to share.
Last, but not least, do something for those less fortunate than yourself. Get the kids involved, too. This activity tends to change your perspective. It doesn't have to cost much. You will come away feeling more grateful for what you have, and the good feeling that comes from helping others.
Monday, December 1, 2008, 03:13 PM CST [New Listeners]
Two in a row! New Listener #11 was named Kelly and another Kelly called in to the show to be New Listener #12. She had a peaceful Thanksgiving with just her and her boyfriend.
The screen flickered with the black and white image feeding from the tiny camera hidden in David Slater's living room.
The broken chair littered the middle of the floor, and just to the left of the screen the body of the delivery man lay in a congealing pool of dark grey blood.
David should have made a move by now. The last time his darting shape passed the camera he had been heading towards the kitchen.
In his darkened room, watching the screen, the man responsible for David's state and for the arrival of two Dragonville police officers, flicked to a different camera.
The screen changed to a view of the hall. The body dominated the image from the new angle, hanging from the broken window like meat on a hook. That had been quite unexpected.
It had always been part of the plan to test David by forcing him to fight with the dispensable muscle, but the way it panned out exceeded any expectation. David had never been a confrontational person by any standards, so to have him kill someone made things more interesting. There was perhaps room to expand on the original plan.
The watcher pushed his chair back from the desk, then stopped.
Beyond the door at the end of the hallway, a shadow appeared.
He leaned closer to the screen. It was definitely a person, but the shadow alone gave little away. Suddenly glass flew across the opening and a large cop strode into the doorway. He stayed there for a long time, his eyes taking in the crime scene before turning out of view. The watcher assumed he had vomited.
A second cop entered the scene, a radio by his mouth. It was impossible to lip-read on the fuzzy screen, but he was obviously putting in a call.
The watcher sat back in his chair, thinking. He had last seen David heading towards the back of the house. The two cops were standing in the doorway to the kitchen having broken into the house through the back door. How had David managed to get by them?
He had changed his clothes, which should have given him a less dishevelled appearance but to get onto the street he must have passed the two cops. The fence surrounding the property was too high to climb over without creating a commotion or risking injury. David would not have gone over the fence, he wouldn't have risked it.
Then again, until twenty minutes ago, he had not thought David capable of murder, accidental or otherwise. He needed to keep track of David's movements. It was one thing to be surprised by someone's actions, but to let them get the upper hand too frequently became dangerous. There were no mistakes being made on this one.
The watcher picked up the plain black phone and dialled. It was time to set the dogs loose and give David something to keep him occupied.
Looking for meaningful gifts for your family and friends this holiday season? With OneWorld's Gift Guide the possibilities are endless! Find hundreds of gift ideas from nonprofits across the nation -- save time AND make a difference!
Ideas for new shows are going through my head - one idea has already been postponed to 2010 - but the script for next season's swordfight is beginning to swirl through my mind and within the next week some of it ought to make its way onto my laptop. Opening Gate, Closing Gate, what new things are in store? I guess you'll just have to wait and see! :-)
WHAT amazes me about the appointment of Hillary Clinton is how little opposition it has raised among liberals, and how far Barack Obama has gone to accommodate his new secretary of state.
There have been a smattering of objections to the former first lady, for example Alternet does a good job of analyzing how conservative the Clinton administration foreign policy was, and how hawkish Mrs Clinton is likely to be. But mostly Obama's most ardent supporters - and Hillary haters - have been prepared to give him the benefit of the doubt, even though he has picked a top diplomat who supported the Iraq war, has been strongly pro-Israeli and who in the senate voted against restrictions on cluster bomb exports.
At the press conference today unveiling the new national security team Clinton gave the longest - and schmaltziest - speech, and received the most fulsome praise that her new boss gave to any of the other leaders.
Andrea Mitchell on NBC surmised that a decision was made to allow Clinton to speak, which meant all the others had to be allowed to speak. At the conclusion of the press conference, Obama walked off arm in arm with the new madam secretary. Hillary may have lost the campaign, but she has landed on her feet.
I just sent out the December edition of the Celtic History Newsletter This month is about the Cailleach, the Celtic personification of winter.
I mention it here because it is the latest bit of new art I'm working on. It should feature a stag blowing on a standing stone and releasing the Cailleach from her summer prison so she can bring the snow to the land once again.
Monday, December 1, 2008, 09:00 PM GMT [Entertainment]
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.) If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it !) The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.G.!) A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig.) A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.) (I'm still not over the pig.) Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour (Don't try this at home, maybe at work) The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. (Honey, I'm home. What the...?!) The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes.. Lucky pig! Can you imagine?) The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?) Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity) Butterflies taste with their feet. (Big deal. My feet smell!) The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm......) Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people. (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?) Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.(Why bother, when you can bully your way through anything) A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?) An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. ( I know some people like that.) Starfish have no brains (I know some people like that too.) Polar bears are left-handed. (Aaah, we know, that if they switch, they could live a lot longer) Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about that pig??)
I couldn't wait to get back to checking out my MyCraft site.
MyCraft is quickly growing in numbers and becoming very popular.
My Etsy shop had been at a standstill. I had signed up with MyCraft and approximately 10 days after becoming a member I had four sales at my Etsy shop.
I just arrived back from the Holiday vacation last night to find I had another sale today.
I find the members to be warm, welcoming and so helpful.
**the following blog was found by a rescue team at a house in Connecticut. The blog's author has never been seen or heard from again. It is best read in the style of the infamous Blair Witch monologue.
Day 13 and I've finally been broken. I cannot laugh at the father in law's "go finger yourself" comment again. Nor am I able to smile when my mother in law tells me I need to put more blankets on the baby and that he really likes the formula (vs. breat milk) she got for him. I don't think it's funny when I'm asked if we have indoor plumbing for the 50th time.
I've locked myself inside the office-I can hear them outside but I'm hoping that if I am quiet they will not find me. I thought I could handle it but I was being naive. No one could handle two full weeks with their in laws. Week one consisted primarily of the shot and a beer ritual and sitting on the couch discussing old times. Week two appeared to be more promising but quickly turned into an exercise in futility. Want to drive? You're going to slow-want to ride in the car? Why aren't you driving. You are told to make your own food for the night-and then chastised for making the oven smell like fish.
I escaped for a few measly hours to the glorious city where I watched them blow up giant balloons for the Macy's day parade and enjoyed a few blissful baby free hours while sipping a glass of wine outside of Central Park. If I'd known then maybe I never would have returned.
Thanksgiving was a mixture of food and guilt. They served macaroni and gravy (which is really rigatoni and a red sauce) a fabulous turkey, a disappointing sausage stuffing (I'd have liked this had it been called meatloaf vs. stuffing which consists of bread in my world.) I liked the yams and found the mashed turnip with brown sugar to be disturbing.
We've returned to the couch and I endured yet another day of shots/beers and bleary eyed adults surrounding me. Also there were some distubing comments form my father in law regarding breast feeding. I've survived the past few days on a diet of potato chips, squares of left over pumpkin pie, and triscuits topped with stale lunch meat, cheese ends and green olives *gagging and retching*
I'm writing this now in case I don't make it. Please let other people know-whatever you do-don't go to the in laws for a full two weeks.
I really hope Maria gets Michelle McCool's behind for knocking her down Friday night! I'm amazed she didn't get up and whip her ass then! I'm starting to think Michelle's getting alittle deranged, if you know what I mean. At least paranoid, you know? I'm alittle upset that Vladimir didn't beat the clock, but if he couldn't get a shot at the title, it would be nice for Jeff hardy to. I'll highly ticked that Edge has the title, but I think there's a triple threat match between Triple H, Jeff Hardy, and Edge Friday night, and I'll be happy if Hornswoggle wins it as long as Edge doesn't! I got confidence that Cena will beat Kane tonight, but of course alot of people do. We'll see what winds down this week, and as always, love 'em like you mean it!
He said he is pleased with the coaches' effort and teaching. He also echoed Marvin's statement that the fans won't be subject to a season this bad next year. I would certainly hope not. It can't get much worse.
He also said there are no plans to hire a general manager.
I won't even attempt to analyze the rest of the quotes. It is a complete joke. I cannot put into words the frustration that builds deep inside when discussing this football team. There is/was/could be talent on the team. However, it is being thrown away by this man who calls himself an NFL owner.
He owns the team, but obviously has no desire to see it succeed. He does not care. Paul Brown knew football. Mike does not. Mike has all but destroyed the franchise his father built.
There are a lot of people who still love the franchise...grandparents, parents and children who still watch and cheer every Sunday. Mike Brown is spitting in the face of those people.
Fans are easy to please. Nobody complains about anything else. Ticket prices are comparable to other NFL cities. Paul Brown Stadium is a top-notch facility. We just want to win.
I have a store on Etsy called Eternal Images. Please visit and take a look at some of my recent work. I have photography, photo notecards and jewelry!!!
Wow! Where in the world did the year go? Yeah... I have no idea either.
So, I need you to help me reconcile something in my own head... perhaps I have no reason to feel this way. Today, while coming back from lunch with a co-worker... I see a woman walking to her car in a parking lot. I found myself "focused" on her rear end... then it comes to my attention that she is pushing a stroller... then my eyes dart back to her rear end... My co-worker thinks I am sick... that I would ogle a womans hiney, even though she was pushing a stroller. Granted, she didn't look like this... but still.... am I sick for this? I mean I really didn't even pay attention to the stroller..
TOP FIVE THINGS YOU CAN DO WITH YOUR LEFTOVER THANKSGIVING TURKEY
Remove the rest of the feathers and eat it
Put it under the couch with the leftover Easter ham
Slice it thin enough and use it for wrapping paper
Leave it on your neighbor's porch when they're not home
Dry it out in odd shapes so you'll have quirky turkey jerky.
THIS WEEK IS Christmas Tree Week -- The first full week in December. It's the perfect time to point out the differences between a Christmas Tree and a date.
A Christmas tree is ready when you go to pick it up.
A Christmas tree won't retaliate if you dump it after a month.
You don't need a clever line to pick up a Christmas tree.
You can fondle a tree before you take it home.
A Christmas tree doesn't mind you looking under it.
A Christmas tree doesn't become envious around bigger trees. This would be known as treeness envy.
A Christmas tree doesn't go completely to pieces if you mishandle its balls.
You don't have to worry about who else has had your tree.
A Christmas tree doesn't worry about how many others you've had.
A Christmas tree doesn't object to exotic electrical appliances.
A Christmas tree doesn't think your a whacko if it finds an artificial tree in your closet.
The tree doesn't get upset when you tie it up and put it in the trunk to take it home.
Why Christmas Trees are better than women:
Your Christmas Tree never makes fun of you for having another fake one in the closet.
You never have to sit there and wait 20-minutes while you Christmas Tree finishes getting ready for the big company Christmas Party!
You pick out your Christmas Trees by groping them all over and feeling around the base.
How may times have you heard a Christmas Tree complain that all you do on Sunday is lie-around all day, watching football, and drinking beer.
When you've had enough of your Christmas Tree, all you have to do is drag it out in to the woods, or toss it on the curb to have it hauled away.
Your Christmas Tree never orders the lobster brisk and champaign. All it wants is water!
It doesn't matter what a Christmas Tree wears, they always look fat in it! (So the hell cares?)
Your Christmas tree doesn't care how many other Christmas Trees you've had in the pat. (Big added bonus)
Unlike women -- Christmas Trees cannot run away when they first spot my face.
SNOOZE FER U, MONDAY EDITION
Thanksgiving Theif! In Oregon, Wisconsin, Lillian Moore says her family found it a little tough to be thankful on Thanksgiving after a thief made off with their turkey dinner -- right off the front porch! She sent a large cooler stuffed with Thanksgiving food to her daughter Cindy Moore. The cooler included half a turkey, potatoes and salad but she left it on her Cindy's porch Wednesday evening because her daughter's refrigerator was too small. When Cindy went to get the turkey Thanksgiving morning, the cooler was gone. Instead, Cindy says she had to buy turkey using money she sets aside for bills. The disabled single mother didn't bother reporting the theft to police and her mother told reporters, "It's just awful to steal from people who don't have much." (The Capital Times)
Really Waiting For Marriage In Chicago, Melody LaLuz and Claudaniel Fabien didn't just wait to sleep together until they were married -- they never so much as kissed until they were pronounced at the alter. The couple shared their very first lip lock on Saturday at their wedding. The two teach abstinence at the city's public schools and apparently practiced what they preached to their teenage students. They had reportedly never been alone together in a house during their courtship. Wedding guests cheered and stomped during the two-minute smooch between the 28-year-old bride and the 30-year-old groom. Here's the upside to waiting -- the couple says they have no worries about how they will spend their honeymoon in the Bahamas. (Chicago Tribune)
So How Many Obamas Are There? As the January 20th presidential inauguration of our new president is quickly approaching, you might be interested to know just how many Obamas there are in the U.S. Frankly -- not many. According to U.S. databases there are probably less than 20 Obama families in America, while Whitepages.com shows 70 Obamas total on its roster. However, there are 11,000 Clintons and 60,000 Bushes. And Washington D.C. may not be the most accommodating town on January 20th. Over one million people are expected to arrive in the nation's capitol for the inauguration but the five county metro area has only 95,000 hotel rooms. As early as October, hotels in Washington, Pennsylvania and West Virginia have already been booked. As a result, homeowners are benefitting as many plan to rent their vacant rooms and even basements with prices ranging from $350 a night at a three-bedroom house in Brookland, Washington to a $57,000 a week stay in a three-bedroom home near Chantilly in Virginia. There's now even a website, inauguralhomes.com. (AHN News)
A Spacey Thanksgiving While you sat around with family and friends on Thursday stuffing your face, the ten folks aboard the International Space Station had to do with a little less for Thanksgiving. Still, the nine American astronauts and one Russian cosmonaut managed a spread of freeze-dried green beans, cornbread dressing and deli-style turkey. Perhaps just sharing a meal together was their biggest blessing as it is very uncommon for shuttle and ISS crews to eat together because of their varying schedules and duties. (AHN News)
In a Coma? Have Someone Bit Your Toes! In China, Zhang Kui, of Shenyang successfully woke his wife from a ten-year coma by biting her toes! No kidding! Kui says he tried everything he could think of to wake his wife after she suffered a head injury in an industrial accident. He played the radio, sang and talked to her -- even tickled her -- but nothing worked until the toe biting thing. He said, "I recalled someone saying that the feet are the home for many nerves. I wondered if I could wake her up by biting her feet." He started gently biting her toes and has been doing so regularly for the last 10 years--until she suddenly squeezed his wrist. His wife, Lv Fengshuang, can now move her arms and smile, although she is still unable to speak. The couple has been married for 27 years and Kui is now hoping for another miracle-- to hear her voice again. (Liao Sheng Evening Post)
Eau de Penn State So you're a Penn State fan? Well now you can smell just like your favorite college for $60 bucks! A fragrance developer says it has made a perfume and cologne inspired by Pennsylvania State University. Masik Collegiate Fragrances says the perfume for the school in State College, Pa., smells of vanilla, lilac, rose and white patchouli. The cologne smells of blue cypress and cracked pepper. Fortunately these fragrances are designed after the school campus vegetation and not the crowds at a Penn State football game. But the company says the 3.4-ounce bottles of fragrance should appeal to Penn State's vast alumni and football fans. Masik also has captured the smell of the University of North Carolina and six other universities are coming next year! (Masik Collegiate Fragrances)
